Blog: When things don't go to plan

By Rebecca Dubber

On a first date, Rebecca thought she'd been stood up. Locked behind a pair of large glass doors for all to see.

Stairs almost ruin a perfect date night.

Four weeks into a new relationship I decided to plan a surprise date night that included catching the ferry from Auckland city to Devonport for dinner and then back again to watch a comedy show in the city.

Neither of us had used the downtown carpark in a while and after we found a park we decided it would be easier to follow the herd towards the exit than get ourselves lost.

Bad idea!

This date was just after they had started digging up central Auckland streets for the new underground which meant hazards galore and all sorts of detours and blocked off areas.

As we exited the building, we noticed there were only stairs down to the street level. The accessible route was blocked off with big barricades, and because it was a Saturday night you couldn’t get back in to the building to find another exit.

A bit stumped on what to do, my date came up with an idea to go and find a way back into the building so that he could come let me back in and we could find another way to get out.  

He gave me a quick kiss and disappeared off down the stairs.

10 minutes passed.

And then 20, my knight in shining armour was yet to return.

Around the 30 minute mark I started to wonder if he was coming back…

Had he finally realised a relationship with a wheelchair user wasn’t always going to be easy and maybe now was a good time to leave, while there was no actual possible way for me to chase him?

"I was always scared that my
disability would make it hard to be in a relationship."

I also thought to myself how much longer I was going to sit there and wait before going through the embarrassment of having to call my dad and let him know I’d been stranded on the steps of PWC building.

Before I could even finish that thought, I turned around to see a very handsome man with a bright red face pacing towards the doors with a security guard in tow to let me back in.

After being let back in, between catching his breath my date explained that he couldn’t find a way back in and once he did, he couldn’t figure how to get back up to where I was.

The security guard took us down to the main lobby entrance and off we went on our merry way like nothing had happened.

Nearly three years later, my date and I are still together.

A couple of months ago I finally bucked up the courage to tell him what was going through my head that night, I know what a kind and caring human he is so it’s embarrassing to think
I ever thought he was capable of leaving me stranded on some steps.

It’s one of those stories we can look back and laugh about now, I was always scared that my disability would make it hard to be in a relationship, how lucky am I that I found someone who loves me, as me.

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